Tag: Bacterial Meningitis

  • Road to recovery from Bacterial Meningitis

    Road to recovery from Bacterial Meningitis

    I shuffled around my home everything looked the same but slightly different. It felt surreal, the space was the same, but my viewpoint and understanding had shifted. It was me that was different, almost like looking at a well-known painting upside down, I knew what it was, it was familiar, but I could see new shapes. A perspective that I had not realised before.

    Posted to Facebook and Instagram on the 19th February 2022 

    “Back at home and I have been administering my own intravenous antibiotics for the last couple of weeks. A visit to the hospital and CT scan revealed that the mass on my brain is now 6mm which is down from 1.3cm. I am covid free and the infection level in my system is down to single digits. The doctor is pleased with my progress. I’ve had my midline removed and feel far more human again. 

    Physically, my strength is returning. Although I still get headaches, they are manageable and I’m starting to work on my mind, focus and memory. Keeping positive and striving for a full recovery!

    A big thank you to Ruth for looking after me every day. Thank you to everyone who has sent me love and healing over the last 6 weeks, it’s definitely made a difference. I am forever in your debt”

    The healing process, what had happened to me?

    Six weeks since I was admitted to hospital with no immune system, bacterial meningitis and a 1.3cm abscess on the right side of my brain. My body had been physically destroyed. Since then, it worked incredibly hard. Identified the inflection and abscess and unleashed its defence mechanisms targeting the foreign bodies reinforced by antibiotics, steroids and painkillers. It also started to rebuild my immune system.

    “To the NHS I offer my eternal thanks for their brilliant service and keeping me alive. If it wasn’t for the paramedics and doctor’s diagnosis and the nurses care and treatment, I am pretty sure I would no longer be here.”

    Another important role I believe was played by my friends and loved ones. Their thoughts, energy and love. Many friends and colleagues are spiritual practitioners working with healing, energy, and mediumship. They had been sending love and healing on a regular basis. I had time to think about how this had helped, the energy of positive thought and the spirit world, working alongside my medical treatment. I truly believe it helped to put me at ease, reduce the pain and made a difference.

    When I look at what could have happened, my chances of survival and the sequence of events, I surely believe that I am blessed. I am incredibly lucky to still be here and to be recovering.

    I believe there are a few considerations to my recovery

    1. Always listen to the doctors and follow their advice and course of treatment.
    2. To receive openly the love, support, compassion, and healing from others.
    3. Letting go of all stress and any bad will towards others.
    4. Understanding what’s happening with your energy, wellbeing, and emotional state.

    Continuing to heal after hospital

    The doctor was pleased, I was making good progress. The antibiotics had done their job, physically I was getting stronger. I could walk around the block without getting out of breath.

    Mentally, I was not myself. I didn’t feel as quick as before or on the ball. Still healing but my mind felt different, my body was different too. It all felt a little unreal. I had symptoms that the doctor said would disappear over time and I was expected to make a full recovery.

    • I still got headaches and sharp pains in and around my head.
    • My focus was not the same as before, my mind would wander off thinking about nothing.
    • My memory was not great, things would leave my mind right after a conversation.
    • I searched for words and struggled to find a decent vocabulary.
    • My balance was not quote right, especially with change of light or elevation.
    • I was creativity drained. I had very little enthusiasm for anything.

    I just didn’t feel myself anymore, of course it was completely understandable as I had been seriously ill. The doctors had fixed me so I would live, they had done their job. My family, friends and colleagues showed me how much they cared, for which I felt incredibly humble. Now it was my turn to heal myself the rest of the way, it was my responsibility.

    Firstly, I knew from experience that I wasn’t aiming to become the person I used to be. That person had gone. I had an opportunity to become a new and (hopefully) improved version. This whole experience had many valuable lessons to teach me but right now I had no idea what any of them were.

    I truly believed that understanding personal and other people’s energy, knowledge of chakras and the importance of meditation comes to the forefront. These were areas I had studied, and I knew I needed to use for the next stage of my recovery.

    Reflection & Insight

    I was never the best meditator, I always had too much to do, or my mind wanted to create something new. Though art and short daily practices I found my quiet space. I had not created any art in nearly two months, I found it scary to sit in front of my easel again. A blank canvas scared me, which never had before.

    I had just finished reading a book by Caroline Myss, it inspired and seem to come at the right time. I recorded my own guided daily meditation, only fourteen minutes but would start to move my mind into the right space each morning.

    I was unable to work and had to turn down jobs, I couldn’t worry about it now. For the first time in a long time, I had a clear schedule, my only focus was on healing. Maybe this focus of healing and self-care should have happened a while ago.

    With time to think, even if I’m not always thinking clearly. I still had time to consider some important questions.

    • Why has this happened to me?
    • What can I learn from this?

    Why has this happened? Possibly to remove the “should haves” A coincidence of events that points to serendipity, something significant to stand up and take note. Is there are grand plan? This is not at all relevant and some questions are for another time, but the “should haves” that I have been dealing with for a while. After passing 40 years old, my body doesn’t repair at the same rate or react as quickly. If I want it to do another 40 years, I need to make time to look after it, look after me like someone I love and respect.

    I have certainly had time to look back at what I have been doing, how I spent my time. I have the opportunity to remove the things that no longer matter and reducing the amount of “should haves”.

    Written by Richard Stuttle

  • Rushed to Hospital with suspected Bacterial Meningitis

    Rushed to Hospital with suspected Bacterial Meningitis

    2021 ended on a real positive note, there were still things with family and friends to cause concern, but I had completed a few projects with very positive results.

    The latest work for our charity had the potential to create something new and exciting. My book for Caroline: Chasing Rainbows – The Stolen Future of Caroline Ann Stuttle was published in May and had some great reviews. We had filmed for “The Real Death in Paradise”, a Sky documentary, which was airing in February. The Virtual Reality project was developing better than expected. It was our 20thanniversary in April, and I thought Caroline would be proud of what we have achieved.

    I had finally been able to make time to paint and develop my art again. I’d completed a mentorship programme and was enjoying my healing course. These had brought a lot of different strands of my work together, my creativity through art and writing, philosophy, beliefs, and life experience.

    I had survived Covid and although we had to cancel our holiday, we had managed to reschedule. It was only a few weeks away now! We were looking forward to getting away, like most people it had been a couple of years since we had left the country.

    Not the start to 2022 I was expecting. I had not been feeling well or on top form for a while. I thought I was just run down, a cold, and now with the new Omicron variant, I thought that I had probably caught that. I had a headache, it got worse over a couple of days. On the 6th of January, my girlfriend came home from work to find me in bed, curled up in a ball, head under the covers groaning in pain. It was nothing like anything I had experienced before. The pain was unbearable. The paramedics arrived, I was given morphine, and was rushed by ambulance to hospital with a potential diagnosis of Bacterial Meningitis.

    If my girlfriend hadn’t acted so quickly, it might have been a very different story. I am incredibly lucky to be alive. I was put in isolation on Lilac Ward in Scarborough Hospital. The next few days were a complete blur, I was hazy with intravenous morphine, steroids and other medication. I had a Lombard puncture, CT scan and an MRI. The nurses were all exceptional and looked after me with the greatest of care. One thing I will always remember from that blurry time was the compassion and kindness they all showed me.

    One afternoon, I was not sure what day it was or how many days I had been in hospital. A doctor came into my room “You have bacterial meningitis and a 1.3cm abscess on the right side of your brain. We are speaking with the consultants over at Hull Hospital, and you might be taken there tomorrow for brain surgery.”

    I was left in shock, still in pain and hazy I had a terrifying evening and night. Everything and nothing running through my mind. I would tell my loved ones in the morning. It was the first time I had really contemplated my own mortality. Even with everything that had happened with my sister Caroline. I knew the human body in many ways could be so fragile, there was still a part of me that was 19 and thought of myself as immortal.

    I thought back over my life, we had experienced tragedy and it had not always been easy, but I have done many incredible things. I had travelled, lived and worked in many different countries. Spent summers on beaches and winters in the mountains. Followed many of my dreams and explored my passions. 44 years was over twice as much time as my sister was given in this world. If now was my time, I had experienced life, but no way was I ready to go anywhere. Even with everything I had done a felt like I hadn’t even started, I had so much more to do!

    Even with a belief in the afterlife, I was terrified, I didn’t want to go yet. I knew I would see my sister again, be able to catch up with my grandparents and get a different understanding of what this world was all about. With all that said, I had become incredibly attached to my mortal body. I thought of my family, my loved ones. They couldn’t take another loss. My sister and me both in the afterlife would be too much for them to bare. There was so much left unsaid.

    The following day I wasn’t taken to Hull. The neurologist thought it best to try to reduce the abscess through medication. It was a case of weighing up the risk, brain surgery could ultimately cause more damage and would only be a last resort.

    I spent two weeks in hospital. The first week I drifted through various degrees of pain mainly in my head but throughout my body as it became weaker because all my energy was directed towards fighting the infection. I was in a drug induced haze and couldn’t differentiate from what was a dream and what was happening. I couldn’t take noise, light or to think about anything with an emotional connection. It seems to cause pain. I slept only to be woken every 4 hours for temperature and blood pressure checks, blood tests, medication, and doctors’ visits. Now I get flashes of that week, but nothing is clear, I have no idea what thoughts were my own or came from somewhere else. I hope with time I will be able to gain some clarity.

    The second week I became more lucid, I started to be able to think again if only for short periods. My mind was different, it felt slower, clouded. I felt like I was outside myself and sat looking at nothing for long periods. Food became important, I was on steroids and just wanted to eat everything. It was only towards the end of the second week when I talked to the specialists and began to realise the severity of what I had gone though. I really was lucky to still be here, the doctors and nurses were really worried about me for the first few days, they said it was touch and go.

    After speaking with the OPAT team, I had a midline fitted and was trained on how to administer my own drugs intravenously. I was discharged, it was so good to be home. Everything felt surreal, like it was a dream. I couldn’t feel anything properly, everything looked slightly different even though it was home and completely familiar. Nevertheless it was good to be home.

    People were worried, I had spoken to family and my girlfriend while in hospital but only briefly. I knew they were there for me. I felt I should let my friends know what was happening. I put a post out on social media.

    Posted to Facebook and Instagram on the 20th January 2022

    “Not the start to 2022 I was expecting. On the 6th of January I was rushed by ambulance to hospital with Bacterial Meningitis. I am incredibly lucky to be alive. 

    After a really worrying 2 weeks in hospital. The scare of brain surgery, countless tests, drugs and painkillers I am on the mend. I still have a 1.3cm abscess on my brain. Today, I’m back home. Continuing with intravenous antibiotics for the next 4 weeks with the hope that the abscess will dissipate. I am of course positive, the eternal optimist and have begun my healing journey to recovery.

    I must offer my eternal thanks to Ruth who called the ambulance and saved my life. The paramedics who rushed me to hospital, all the staff on Lilac Ward at Scarborough Hospital, without everyone’s love and care I would not be here. Thank you to everyone who has sent me positive thoughts and healing. It has definitely made a difference and means a great deal. Thank you and love you all.”

    21st January 2022 and I didn’t feel great, had some painkillers and my intravenous antibiotics. My girlfriend came home after work and I was not in a good place, it felt like the 6th of January all over again. The pain got progressively worse. It became unbearable and an ambulance was called. In A&E I was given drugs and left in a darken room.

    I was in pain. The painkillers were helping. I was scheduled for a Lombard Puncture, a doctor came and tried but it was unsuccessful. Another doctor was called. It was painful and I was terrified that I would become paralysed. Luckily the second attempt went well. Another CT scan and I was admitted. This time on the Ann Wright ward. The team were great and looked after me. The next morning, I felt better. CT scan results were positive, looked like the abscess had slightly reduced in size. My bloods showed an over production of white blood cells, my body was fighting hard. I felt completely battered and bruised in body, mind and soul but I was trying to stay positive.

    Nothing happened over the weekend. I felt relaxed again and safe to be in the hospital. On the 24th of January I had my second MRI, the consultants were confident that we are heading the right direction. My bloods were showing that the infection was reducing, my body and vitals were strong.

    26th January at two in the morning, the results came back from my last Covid test, I was positive. I was immediately moved down to Beech ward. I was now used to waking up and not feeling great but now I had Covid symptoms on top of it all.

    I was not sleeping well and still getting woken for medication and observations periodically thought-out the day and night. Bloods taken daily and Covid tests I was sick of getting prodded and poked. I had been laid in bed now for a few weeks and could feel my body losing muscle. It was strange, I was getting stronger and healing but simultaneously my body was wasting away through not getting any regular exercise and fresh air.

    With so many days in hospital I had plenty of time to think, my mind was clearing. I knew how incredibly lucky I was to still be here. I was re-evaluating everything, what I was doing, how I spent my time and what I still wanted to do in my life. With so much time to sit I considered my thoughts and what I spent my time thinking about. Was it all worth it? Is what I was I was thinking about worthy of my time? Was what I wanted to do in life really what I wanted to do?

    30th January 2022

    Discharged. After 20 days in hospital, I am finally recovering at home. I feel incredibly lucky to still be here, as it was touch and go for a time. I would like to offer my eternal gratitude to the doctors and NHS staff who all looked after me to well.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has send me healing and wished me a speedy recovery. It is incredibly humbling to know how much I am loved and cared for. I certainly have a new perspective on life and what’s important.

    I now continue my healing journey from home. The bacterial meningitis is responding well to intravenous antibiotics, the mass on my brain is showing signs of reduction and the symptoms of covid are minimal. I can feel myself getting a little stronger each day. Thank you all for your love, healing and support, it has given me hope each day and means the world. I truly believe that I would not be here otherwise, please accept my unconditional love now and always.”

    The healing process starts at home. I was administering my own intravenous antibiotics and anti-seizure medication. For the first week back in my own bed, I just slept. I started to wake up and not feel completely drained and aching. My mind was still not fully clear. I had headaches, issues focusing, reading and trouble with memory and finding words. These would all come back with retraining and time.

    Written by Richard Stuttle